It's on the billboards, it's in the commercials.....so let's talk about it! I find The Steve Harvey Show hilariously funny! Yes, I just used hilariously and funny in the same sentence. I was watching a Men vs. Women Edition and the men were up first. Steve asked the panel of men a series of questions and they gave admirable, yet candid answers. Then Steve posed the question, "There is a new trend of celebrities being “born again virgins” and there is actually a show on TV One, entitled “Born Again Virgin.” Can a woman be a born again virgin? The panel of men gave a unanimous “NO!” One gentleman said, “Once a hoe, always a hoe.” With that statement… it goes both ways. Now, let’s not be one sided. It seems that men sleeping around is socially acceptable (like it’s a rite of passage for manhood), as opposed to women. Trust me, I’m no man basher or feminist, but I’m an observer and speaker of truth. I’m thankful for men… I love men!! Women we need you men! We need you to be who you were created to be… Influencers.
In reality, whether man or woman, uncommitted sex leaves both parties empty and unfulfilled. Why have uncommitted sex with someone who’ll leave you in a bed of insecurity (on top of so many possible sexually transmitted diseases- condoms ain’t all a 100%), when you can make love with a committed lover, who’ll wake up next to you in a secured bed? I’m speaking in the context of marriage. And some may argue that, that’s no guarantee either, which is partially true, especially with the divorce rate being an all time high. Hence, it’s important not to rush the dating or courting process, in all areas! We must be careful with who we commit our lives to because marriage can be the life of you or the death of you. But guess what? Any relationship, friend, foe, or fling can be the life of you or the death of you. Tomorrow is not promised to any person. I tried finding rest in the unknown, but it didn't work. So now, I'm learning to find rest in the Creator. The security and comfort lies in two people, openly making a lifetime commitment together and exchanging vows does so.
Okay, back to The Steve Harvey Show! He gives great advice and tips! Now, the 90 Day Rule really isn’t my memo, but what he shared with the panel was SO powerful, “...... Every person deserves the right to re-brand themselves.” And I agree 100%! Your reputation and life is like an ATM machine, you can only withdraw what you deposit. If we, men and women, boys and girls alike (gotta’ put that in there) , give individuals our hearts and bodies, prematurely and on a uncommitted bases, we’ve made a bad investment. I once heard from a phenomenal woman named Tekoa Pouerie, “You always receive a return on your investment.” Unfortunately, that includes good or bad, positive or negative. There’s a powerful proverb that says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Many of us have made some bad investments: relationally and intimately and we’re receiving returns on them.
“It’s never too late,” are the words of late, great Dr. Zachary Tims. I believe everyone can have a fresh start emotionally, mentally, spiritually, financially, and yes even SEXUALLY. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy! Listen here, I’m a 30 year old VIRGIN so I KNOW about the STRUGGLE! I've heard people say, well you can't miss what you never had and that's true.... But just because a baby with teeth never tasted chicken before doesn't mean that baby don't want to taste it. And just because I'm a person of Faith doesn't mean I don't have desires. I'm wrestling everyday! I probably just missed a call from WWE! The struggle is real, but the CREATOR of the universe is MORE REAL and you can be spared from unnecessary pain and heartache, if you wait or make a commitment from today to remain abstinent until marriage(even if it isn't your first rodeo). Sex is an exchange where you experience the deepest, inner-most part of a person. I've heard intimacy described as “into me see.” I don’t know about you, but I don’t want just any and everybody “seeing into me!” Have you ever heard the term soul tie? In essence, that’s what sex does; it ties your souls together. Lawd help us! We need some divine intervention because many of us are tied to people we don’t even want to see again! Back in day… of Moses, that’s how they did it! No expensive ceremonies, no decorative cakes, and no unwanted guests, they just “did the do” and they were married!
Society teaches us everyday how to be “spiritual polygamists.” Many of us are married to multiple people, spiritually. Society teaches us to experiment with our bodies and jump from partner to partner. But where does that leave us? Empty and unfulfilled. Sex has been falsely advertised. It does not heal. It temporarily satisfies, but leaves a lasting imprint. Sex is not bad! Actually, God invented sex. He created it… for the enjoyment and connection between husband and wife and for procreation. The terms are the same for emotional soul ties, however the consequences may not be as severe. I confess, I have emotional soul ties. We all do in actuality. Emotional soul ties can be healthy or unhealthy. It's our job to determine. As Radio was asked (in the movie Radio, which is great btw), “You want strawberry pie or apple pie?” Consequently, I respond like Radio, “I wah’ both!”(watch the movie...you'll get it, lol)
With my 30 years of living(and counting), I’ve had healthy and unhealthy emotional ties, but that's a a part of life. No person is perfect, so no relationship is perfect. You should sigh in relief. However, we all have a responsibility to learn and grow for ourselves and for those we cherish. In the words of Duma Alphonse, "Opportunities resides in life's oppositions." Emotional ties effect who you are holistically; romantically and non-romantically. It's possible to have an unhealthy, emotional tie with a friend. We are not the sum our failures nor the sum of our successes, but we all should self reflect. It’s guaranteed to improve our quality of life. There is hope. P.S. If you're still wondering How I Kept it? or Why I kept it? Stay Tuned....Until next time.... Speak Life!